Eighteen months ago, I had the most important realisation of my life: I was transgender.
Before that moment, I was in a deep pit of depression. Nothing felt right, nothing helped, and I couldn’t understand why. I knew I was missing something, but I didn’t know what. Most days I was spiralling into dark thoughts and even darker Google searches.
Then I came across a thought experiment called The Button Test.
It asks one simple question:
“If you could press a button and wake up tomorrow as a cisgender woman – with everyone remembering you that way – would you press it?”
I didn’t hesitate.
My immediate thought was, “Of course. Wouldn’t everyone?”
And then came the rush: the fear, the hope, the doubt, the relief.
Voices in my head collided:
- “What if this ruins your life?”
- “You’re too old.”
- “You’ll never really look like a woman.”
- “Your family will hate you.”
- “Everyone will hate you.”
But underneath all those fears… I felt something else.
A flicker of joy. A sense of a weight being lifted.
So, metaphorically, I pressed the button.
I’ll fast-forward through the coming-out process, the tears, the conversations, and the fear. Every one of those fears was proven wrong by my wife, my friends, my family, and the professionals who guided me through this transition.
That story will have its own chapter someday.
Coming Out at Work
I had transitioned in my personal life, but I still had to do the same thing at work. And for someone who had spent so long battling self-doubt and fear of repercussions, the idea of “coming out at work” felt genuinely terrifying.
What helped was something incredibly small – and incredibly powerful.
My manager at the time had her pronouns in her email signature.
That tiny sign of safety and self-recognition gave me the courage to start a conversation with her. What began with me as a shaking, anxious mess ended in something beautiful. We talked about authenticity, identity, and the ways we navigate who we are on the inside with who we are expected to be on the outside.
And it reminded me why inclusive workplaces matter.
It’s the difference between surviving and thriving. I am proof of that.
Since that time, I’ve grown into myself. I’m bolder, braver, softer, more aligned.
I’ve had leaders who held space for me, supported me, and allowed me to become the person I always should have been.
Not everyone gets that. But everyone deserves it.
Why I’m Writing Here
Transitioning didn’t just save my life; it changed the way I lead, how I collaborate, and how I understand the workplaces we’re all trying to build.
And I have the responsibility to talk about that more openly. Not just about transgender identity, but about the broader intersection of:
- inclusion and authenticity;
- leadership and high-performing teams; and
- emerging technology and how it is transforming the workplace.
I want to explore what it means to build workplaces that are both high-performing and deeply human. Workplaces where people are safe enough to be authentic, supported enough to grow, and brave enough to lead.
This website is the beginning of that conversation.
Thank you for reading. And thank you for being here at the start of this new chapter.
Jen.